The checkout girl smiled. She tried not to laugh as she asked if I found everything all right.
“Uhh…yup”
Had this been any other night, any regular night, she could have very well been flirting with me. In fact, she most definitely would have been flirting. Not tonight, though. Between my confused disposition and the boxes of microwaveable sandwiches, there was only one thought in her mind: this guy is stoned. Honestly, I really couldn’t argue with her rationality.
The last four hours had been spent in front of a computer screen, answering questions in a tutorial lesson on customer service that discussed scenario after endless, insignificant scenario. The tutorial lesson was finally complete, and I had just barely passed the assessment. Standing felt foreign, with each step feeling uncontrollably bouncy and new. My head was equally spaced-out. It was time to go, but whom would I inform? All the employees present were gathered around a computer screen watching an assembly line manufactured film, where actors, plots, and camerawork were all pulled randomly from separate boxes.
“How do I leave?" the words tumbled clumsily out of my mouth.
During the computer tutorials, my arms and legs would take turns going to sleep. Prior to this, I hadn’t known that one’s tongue could go on sabbatical as well. Had I been one of the employees, I would have commended myself on the great Slingblade impression. Thankfully, one of the employees had understood what I was trying to say and pointed to a big white door plainly labeled “EXIT”.
I left the lobby and wondered if my car had been towed. My blue Sable still needed a parking pass, but the manager kept forgetting to assign one.
“Where do I park until I get a parking pass?”
“Just park in the lot. If you get ticketed, we’ll pay for it,” he said.
“Yeah, but what if they decide to tow it?” A sign from my walk to the office had danced in my memory, stating all trespassing cars would be towed.
“That probably won’t happen,” he said with questionable certainty.
My car had not been towed. It hadn’t even been ticketed. How secure is this parking lot if they don’t notice any alien automobiles?
The steering wheel shivered under my warm hands. Leaving the parking lot, I took a wrong turn and ended up driving through the customer lot entrance
My gut and my gourd growled in agreement. Though my mind may have been filled with new information, but my stomach was emptied of old meals. I craved red meat. It had been years since my tongue lashed a fast-food burger. A tug inside my skull pulled my car into a McDonald’s drive-thru.
“HiwelcometoMcDonald’sorderwheneveryou’reready.”
Here it was. That moment between anticipation and achievement where you reach the peak of desire without actually feeling fulfilled. “May I have a Big Mac?”
“Sorrywe’reallout.”
“What?”
“I’msorrythegrill’sclosedandwedon’thavenaymoreBigMacs.”
Was it the speaker or the Speaker that made the dialogue unintelligible? “I’m sorry, I can’t understand you. Could you please speak slowly?”
“The…grill…is…closed…so…there…are…no…more…Big…Macs…”
It must have been spite that split the words. “Can I just have a cheeseburger, then?”
“No cheeseburgers either.”
“Um…” My mind was a hive of African killer bees, all buzzing to get out, “…what do you have?”
“Pop, milkshakes, pie…”
“Can I just get a soda?”
“Sure, what size?”
“Small”
I pulled through the drive-thru, and paid for my small Sprite. She had lied to me, I realized as my mouth filled with the salty, sharp taste of ordinary carbonated water. They were out of soda too.
My inner wolf still howled for the repose granted only by beef. Of course, at this time of night, everything else was closed, except the grocery store
The grocery store is a nighttime haven for those suffering from sun deprivation. The aseptic lights on the ceiling illuminated the muddy tracks on the floor. In my mind, time was of the essence…mostly because it was late and I had no desire to spend the rest of my waking hours preparing a meal whose weight would set the sleepy-time trigger off in my stomach. So I marched directly to the frozen food aisle. Immediately, a pair of boxes caught my attention. A smiling Aunt Jemimah was perched next to sterling White Castle.
“Perfect…” growled my inner wolf.
***
Forest Owl
